Getting Fired: Long-term Happiness and Fulfillment

I had to let someone go from my team today. Z knew it was coming and asked to meet with me and the CEO before she was dismissed. During our meeting, she said she wanted this job a lot and told our CEO I didn’t give her an opportunity to exercise her skills. I have a very rigorous interviewing process, adaptive training methods, and log everyone’s performance on the cloud. Her numbers did not only not meet the group’s average, but are inconsistent and below passing. What Z doesn’t realize is that the CEO was already aware of her performance (since it is on the cloud) and I met with him a month ago in regards to this matter. It was the CEO’s decision to give her more time to improve her numbers performing the same tasks. In addition to following my CEO’s orders, I actually gave Z an opportunity to exercise her skills on different tasks that she said she was the best at as well. The same numbers came back. I didn’t interrupt Z while she was speaking because our CEO had to hear it for himself. I don’t know if I could coin everything Z said as excuses as I truly don’t think she even knows what her strengths and weaknesses are. On a personal level, I know she is highly touted by her mom and husband. She was able to pass the interview process (all 4 stages) with flying colors, but all faltered after she started. I tried every way I could to train Z and asked her what her ideal work scenario would be and provided her with that as well (though costly for the team) and she still couldn’t perform and would cry. It’s not her tears that concern me, but her mindset. Since grade school, teachers and parents have asked us “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We get asked what we want so often that we in turn start asking ourselves what is it that we want (from other people). But, we forget to ask ourselves who we are. Before saying what we want, shouldn’t we be asking who we are? Shouldn’t we ask “What can I provide?”, “What am I willing to suffer for?”, and then ask “What do I want?” What we can provide depends on our knowledge, skills, and mindset. What we know depends on what we have learnt in childhood and school. What skillset we have depends on our experience mainly as adults. What we are willing to suffer for should also be what we want. If you want happiness and fulfillment but you are not willing to suffer for them, do we even have the right to want those things? To request such from others? It’s not about setting a standard for others you can’t meet and definitely not about using standards we have for ourselves on other people, it is about not being able to comprehend what is fitting for you at that specific moment. We attract what we are, not what we want. If you can’t understand that, your mindset will always be negative because you will blame others and come up with million of excuses for yourself. We can want and like a lot of things and people, but will it end up being a match for if we can’t provide what we are expecting from certain things or what we are requesting from certain people? You can make yourself think you are someone else, you can trick yourself into thinking you can provide A, B, and C, but at the end of the day, you forgo the very things you were looking for: long-term happiness and fulfillment. The “façade” only holds up for so long. It’s tiring for everyone, even the person lying to himself or herself (and is not aware he or she is doing so). Perhaps I can make my interviewing process even more rigorous (as I shall) and Z should better her skillset (as she should), but it came down to what the company was willing to continue losing (time and resources) and what she was willing to give up (the idea of what she wants). We couldn’t find a common ground and thus decided to go lean. It would not have been fair to the rest of the team for if Z stayed, just like it is not fair to those who care about us and put in effort to grow with us if we don’t reconcile what we want with who we are. Flawed, we all are, but we don’t have to make things so tiring. Of course, we are going to be dead tired when working our butts off fighting for what we want, but it will not be in vain. Figuring out who we are is a lifelong journey, knowing what we can provide and in turn request (which might not work out all the time) is an ongoing and consistent reality check, and getting what we want can be a goal or the biggest illusion that has fooled mankind.  Don't be fooled. Constantly check yourself. Constantly figure out what is fitting for you at that specific moment. To you finding long-term happiness and fulfillment.