Sun, 09 Jun 2024 02:41:19 -0700WeeblyFri, 21 Jul 2017 01:05:07 GMThttp://thatswhatshesaidhesaid.com/career/getting-fired-long-term-happiness-and-fulfillmentI had to let someone go from my team today. Z knew it was coming and asked to meet with me and the CEO before she was dismissed. During our meeting, she said she wanted this job a lot and told our CEO I didn’t give her an opportunity to exercise her skills. I have a very rigorous interviewing process, adaptive training methods, and log everyone’s performance on the cloud. Her numbers did not only not meet the group’s average, but are inconsistent and below passing. What Z doesn’t realize is that the CEO was already aware of her performance (since it is on the cloud) and I met with him a month ago in regards to this matter. It was the CEO’s decision to give her more time to improve her numbers performing the same tasks. In addition to following my CEO’s orders, I actually gave Z an opportunity to exercise her skills on different tasks that she said she was the best at as well. The same numbers came back. I didn’t interrupt Z while she was speaking because our CEO had to hear it for himself. I don’t know if I could coin everything Z said as excuses as I truly don’t think she even knows what her strengths and weaknesses are. On a personal level, I know she is highly touted by her mom and husband. She was able to pass the interview process (all 4 stages) with flying colors, but all faltered after she started. I tried every way I could to train Z and asked her what her ideal work scenario would be and provided her with that as well (though costly for the team) and she still couldn’t perform and would cry. It’s not her tears that concern me, but her mindset. Since grade school, teachers and parents have asked us “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We get asked what we want so often that we in turn start asking ourselves what is it that we want (from other people). But, we forget to ask ourselves who we are. Before saying what we want, shouldn’t we be asking who we are? Shouldn’t we ask “What can I provide?”, “What am I willing to suffer for?”, and then ask “What do I want?” What we can provide depends on our knowledge, skills, and mindset. What we know depends on what we have learnt in childhood and school. What skillset we have depends on our experience mainly as adults. What we are willing to suffer for should also be what we want. If you want happiness and fulfillment but you are not willing to suffer for them, do we even have the right to want those things? To request such from others? It’s not about setting a standard for others you can’t meet and definitely not about using standards we have for ourselves on other people, it is about not being able to comprehend what is fitting for you at that specific moment. We attract what we are, not what we want. If you can’t understand that, your mindset will always be negative because you will blame others and come up with million of excuses for yourself. We can want and like a lot of things and people, but will it end up being a match for if we can’t provide what we are expecting from certain things or what we are requesting from certain people? You can make yourself think you are someone else, you can trick yourself into thinking you can provide A, B, and C, but at the end of the day, you forgo the very things you were looking for: long-term happiness and fulfillment. The “façade” only holds up for so long. It’s tiring for everyone, even the person lying to himself or herself (and is not aware he or she is doing so). Perhaps I can make my interviewing process even more rigorous (as I shall) and Z should better her skillset (as she should), but it came down to what the company was willing to continue losing (time and resources) and what she was willing to give up (the idea of what she wants). We couldn’t find a common ground and thus decided to go lean. It would not have been fair to the rest of the team for if Z stayed, just like it is not fair to those who care about us and put in effort to grow with us if we don’t reconcile what we want with who we are. Flawed, we all are, but we don’t have to make things so tiring. Of course, we are going to be dead tired when working our butts off fighting for what we want, but it will not be in vain. Figuring out who we are is a lifelong journey, knowing what we can provide and in turn request (which might not work out all the time) is an ongoing and consistent reality check, and getting what we want can be a goal or the biggest illusion that has fooled mankind.  Don't be fooled. Constantly check yourself. Constantly figure out what is fitting for you at that specific moment. To you finding long-term happiness and fulfillment.]]>Wed, 19 Jul 2017 09:43:07 GMThttp://thatswhatshesaidhesaid.com/career/being-youI interviewed a candidate this morning whose parting words were: “I understand that my assertiveness might come off as arrogance, but that’s not the case. It’s a way to show my confidence and my eagerness to learn. I have apologized many times for it, but today, I want to be myself and show you how I show care personally and professionally. Thank​ you for having me.” A little bit of context: there are 4 stages to my interview process and stage 3 is a group interview that includes live tasks. One of the tasks is a riddle/puzzle. I am usually the scribe for the group and write down their deductions on the whiteboard. The group was stumped. Hannah, got up from her chair and walked up to me and asked for the marker in my hand. After I handed over the marker and stepped aside, she connected the group’s thoughts and solved the riddle. “I might be a slow learner [(even though she holds one of the fastest times in solving the riddle)] and need to write things down myself, but can do it. We did it!,” said Hannah before giving me back the marker and sitting down. I just sent her an offer letter with 4 sentences: “Assertive works for me. When your determination surpasses the patience of others, it will be dubbed as arrogance or stubbornness. That’s also when you decide if you should subdue your stubbornness or pick different peers (not mutually exclusive). Looking forward to being peers.” Hannah is not only a good hire, but a reminder that being oneself is the best way to proceed and solve life’s riddles. This is, of course, if the basics (respect and compassion) are in place. Otherwise, you are simply an asshole 😀 Don’t apologize for being yourself. “Don’t compromise your values for somebody else’s reality” as my roommate would say. Throughout childhood, it was our caregivers that taught us respect and compassion. In adulthood, it is our peers that keeps us in check. I am incredibly lucky to have peers who balance me everyday and remind me how important it is to take feedback well without compromising my values. Because of you all, I self-reflect and am motivated to become the best version of myself everyday. I know I have a lot to learn. Your patience checks my stubbornness; it gives me strength. It's my reality. Thank you. Be you.]]>Wed, 19 Jul 2017 09:40:56 GMThttp://thatswhatshesaidhesaid.com/career/positive-energyAs I am wrapping up interviews for my team and deciding who to send offer letters to, my CEO asked me to meet with him this morning. He asked me if I knew why he hired me. I simply smiled. He followed with: “You can tell how many struggles someone has been through the second you meet them [(through their energy)]. It’s those who can keep being positive after all the hardships that are successful. Otherwise, they’ll never be happy no matter where they go. Positive energy means more than experience.” He followed with: “It’s those that keep going, who show drive, some more than others, that finish the marathon.” Although that’s his gentle way of highlighting my stubbornness, I was surprised this came from a man who seems to value merit above all. You can be a Harvard graduate, CEO of Alibaba, or homeowner or have 100s of “friends” you can grab a drink with, but at the end of the day, what makes you most successful is your positive outlook and how much fight you have in you. Choosing those who assume accountability for their actions and put in consistent effort to become a more positive person every day will help you get to the “finish line.” I practice this rule in my professional and personal life. Even if a friend was close, it’s in the past (equivalent of “experience” above). How close we grow to be every day is the present (equivalent of “positive energy” above). Sure, we can get (really) stressed at times and vent, but that’s not negativity, that’s human. And yes, a lot of people use the past as a base to build towards the future, but as fighters in society, we mature every day, and if someone is no longer walking next to you, they are not walking with you. The person walking next to you is your cheerleader. The person walking ahead of you is your goal and inspiration. And if you find someone that can be your goal and cheerleader, then that’s 😃 And that person can come in different forms: family and friends and partner and peers. Make sure you give them bonuses. The person who speeds to the finish line (equivalent to his/her goal) misses all the leg cramps, Gatorade stops, and most importantly, cheerleaders, and that’s silly because it was never a race to start with. Chase dreams. Walk with parallels. Live positively.]]>