Sun, 09 Jun 2024 02:41:21 -0700WeeblyFri, 21 Jul 2017 01:19:24 GMThttp://thatswhatshesaidhesaid.com/family/coming-soon-hehe-please-check-out-the-other-tabsWe all have egos; we all like things a certain way. Egotism is wanting things a certain way so badly that we get attached to the outcome. It's draining. It can come off as controlling even if we mean well.

When the people we care most about, our family, are hurting themselves or not making the most of themselves, our egos become egotism subconsciously (and naturally) because we want to protect them, help them, and heal them quicker. We are so invested that we lose perspective. We cannot care more than the person directly involved. 
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An example from my teaching days of ego turning into egotism was when I would get so invested that I would have sit-downs with parents and school head counselors (I am pretty sure they thought I was controlling or insane). I would urge them to get more involved to pave a better future for the next generation. It was heartbreaking and after exhausting all efforts and resources and nothing sticking, I felt so helpless. It had to a lot with contemporary politics, but how could I sit aside and not to take on the emotional weight? I am their teacher. I am responsible for their future right? I would go home and cry to my loved ones. I thought that if I skipped lunches and bathroom breaks, showed up an hour before school started, and stayed two hours after school, I would be able to counteract everything that was setting up my kids for failure. 

What I forgot was: I had to live a healthy (physically and mentally) and fulfilling life before I could provide or teach that to our kids (students/children). It’s difficult with the youth because they are so innocent and inexperienced, but we as educators are already using the ultimate platform to elevate them. The rest is not in our control. We motivate them and teach them knowledge and they fight using those tools. We teach them awareness and when time comes, they will take action too. We won’t be fighting alone. 

The next time you think you are a general contractor of the world, remember this: the decisions our loved ones make is their own responsibility. You can only motivate them and teach them awareness like a teacher does to a student and the rest is up to them to go explore, learn, and fight for. They might seem fragile and helpless like the youth, but I promise you they have the strength to carry on just like you have the strength to move on and explore your the world waiting for you, the knowledge awaiting your curiosity, and the battles preparing for your persistence. And when time comes, all I hope for you is that you will know which battles to pick and which battles to choose. To choose to let go of so other people's egos can also be exercised without becoming egotism.

To grace to others. To grace to yourself, which is what your family cares most about. 


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